 Wysłany: Pią 5:36, 13 Gru 2013 Temat postu: reflected words |
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| reflected words
we had a surprise snowfall here yesterday a surprise to me, anyway, i been so wrapped up in my postcalifornia thoughts that i not been watching the weather and within a very quick 30 minutes, we had a good four or five inches of wet, prespring snow that made my world look as if it had been haphazardly covered by a five year old chef with coconut frosting. i spent my day scratching around in a newly cleaned studio, engraving words into sterling that reminded me of the very same scratches the birds were making out on the deck in the snow. for a day, our world was turned again into black and white, my padding around the house in black and white striped socks, walter standing at the window to watch the feeding activity in the middle of the filtered afternoon. there are parts of my studio that i hadn seen, honest to goodness, in a stretch of three or four years, one work table so covered in flotsam and jetsam that when i got in there to shovel out the mess, i found bits and pieces of things that had been long forgotten. it felt good to sit in there under my little white lights at the table yesterday, engraving words into silver, tarnishing the metal, bringing it to a soft, matte sheen once again. i love how the words reflect the dimmed light of a snowy afternoon, how they can take on the appearance of tree bark, or ancient japanese poetry, of bird tracks in the snow. i love how they pull one in to take a closer look, to read the actual words, to hold them in one hand. handwriting, in my hand, on metal: it makes me smile. it helps me to remember, all over again. and to take those words and link them with a few trinkets, an image, a shape creates another story, another pleasure. it back to the grindstone for me,[url=http://www.sport.fr/sponsoring/uggpascher.html]ugg pas cher[/url], with the jewelry creations, with preparing for another round of faraway cross country workshops to teach. i have what could only be described as "low grade panic" that sets in whenever i feel that i not prepared for work that ever looming; i carried a grand amount of jewelry out to california to sell, thinking (ignorantly) that because of the smaller venue, my work would for a large part be coming back home again with me. the women out there completely blew me away with their enthusiasm for my jewelry creations, and i came home with one solitary necklace; now, once again, i will begin again from scratch. believe me, i not complaining i just utterly stunned and grateful and stymied, all at once. i leave three weeks from this past monday, all over again, and this time walter will be boarded at a trusted kennel for his very first time. i made this yearly journey to port townsend, washington for the last eleven years, but for nine of those trips i rented cars and made the drive out to the tip of the olympic peninsula with a myriad of friends. this time, i making the trip alone. the energy level of artfest is frenetic at best, and for the five days that i there, i on. something that i just not used to in this quiet, rural life i lead. so, it feels a little bit like exile, heading alone into a massive sea of people i know, of people who think they know some semblance of me. see? low grade anxiety, at its urgent, insecure best. there will, thankfully, be quiet pockets of stable time spent with loyal friends a walk on the beach, a candlelit dinner in the evening, perhaps a late afternoon cup of tea. so: slow, deep breaths, full work days and evenings, walks by the river when the sun is out (and also when it isn all help to balance my routines, my state of mind. today the sun is back out again, the snow is rapidly melting, and the river beckons. again. xo "Our battered suitcases were piled on the sidewalk again; we had longer ways to go. it never fails! from looking at these lovely things you made, i doubt any will be returning home with you this time, either! and i do not see one whit of anxiety in that picture of you. i DO see knowing eyes and a relaxed, easy smile. You have created a life for yourself, and for your boys, that is honest and creative and beautiful. they are beautiful but moreover when you get something hand done the spirit of the creator shines through. I seen similar etchings before but they don have the character and warmth of yours. I love that it is done in your own handwriting which gives it an eternal feel and that you "love" creating for us. That is what makes them special. there is lovely jewelry and then there is what you do: lovely "ornaments" which touch the heart and soul. you have a gift and i so glad you are sharing it with the world. Oh, my goodness look at that brilliant cardinal! Yeah, we got parrots and scrub jays and grackles in California, but no cardinals (at least, not where I live). So beautiful. So what is it with you and this lowgrade anxiety? You know you going to be met, always, with love, admiration, warmth, affection, and enthusiasm. You can really need any more proof of that, can you? I think it just leaving the peace of your quiet world, leaving Walter, leaving your cozy nest, to plunge into the mayhem of Artfest, all those people, students wanting to learn too much in too little time. Whatever, just breathe. Isn that what you taught us? And don be hurting your hands with that engraver, either, you hear? I have a lowgrade panic of a similar kind rising in me, in two weeks(ish) I may be attending an art retreat workshop the first one I ever been to and certainly the first time I hung with creative people for more than a few years. I nervous even though I just another class member. It frightens me a little as to what they expect from me (and what I be able to give!) but I going and like you, I going by myself. I won personally know any other soul there, and that a big enough step on it own! For you it feels like exile, for me it like the first steps of a hero quest. Such lovely photos Nina, first of all the bright flash of the cardinal we don;t get them in the UK. Then the pictures of your beautiful work. And then, a gorgeous self portrait, serene with a hint of mischief in the smile!! I know about low grade panic. I used to get it a lot when getting ready for performances when I worked as a musician. I get it now when I think I have to be amongst a lot of unknown people, until I am there and realise that its ok. Your work is stunning I am not surprised it disappeared when you took it to the retreat. It is authentic, speaking from the heart, and that is something that cannot be faked, and it speaks directly to those who are listening and can hear you. |
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